Forget the gabagool—this week, it’s all about fantasy football, and it’s shaping up to be more intense than a sit-down at Satriale’s. We’ve got Zach Robinson’s Future Cell Mate facing off against It Was Cowher’s Team in a showdown so exciting that it would make a 90 pound mole jump right of Ginny Sac’s ass.
Zach Robinson’s Future Cell Mate:
Last week’s performance was smoother than a well-aged Barolo. Kirk Cousins threw for a jaw-dropping 500 yards, and Kyle Pitts is back in action, strutting like he owns the block. As the fresh face in the crew, Zach Robinson’s Future Cell Mate is ready to show he’s not just the kid taking care of the laundry or running collections — carrying around boxes of Ziti for the boss. With Kamara questionable and Pitts facing a potential normal week of 3 points per game, the stakes are high. But if all goes according to plan, Zach’s squad is primed to flex their muscles and send a message that they’re not just another bunch of wiseguys—this team means business.
It Was Cowher’s Team
Now, let’s talk about It Was Cowher’s Team. Lately, things have been as messy as an entanglement with Ralph’s Goomar. Bijan Robinson has been more of a liability than an asset, and though Josh Allen played through the pain after getting whacked on live TV, he’s got to find his footing fast. With questionable players scattered across the roster, Cowher’s chances look shakier than a low-level associate at a sit-down. If he can’t turn this ship around, he’ll be left singing “Don’t Stop Believing” in the darkness of his bedroom.
