*Silence*……… *Black screen*…………..
*Dramatic pause*
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. You don’t like the deal, fuck you, pay me. You don’t want give up your best player, fuck you, pay me. Your season is down the pishadu, fuck you, pay me. That’s the thing about these leagues. They’re a breeding ground for mischief, thievery, violence, extortion, predicates of the RICO act, among other things that bring out the ugliness in humanity. But in the ugly we form bonds. Inseparable despite the very thing that pulls us apart – Power, bragging rights, a thirst for blood. We took an oath. A blood oath. Akin to Omerta, we shall not break this oath or may your mother die of cancer of the eyes. We prey on the vulnerable, the ones who are seemingly down on their luck. Sure, they can crawl out from the holes that they’ve dug themselves, but in the end, we intend to get what we want and will spare no expense in achieving our goal, like piranhas. Whether you like it or not, we’re the kind of people that rooted for bad guys in the movies, and for us to live any other way is nuts. Let’s dive in:
Oh, look at this guy, huh?! He’s a good fella. Yeah, we’re talkin’ ’bout ya. Zack owned a small family business on Main St. He grew up in this neighborhood. He knew everyone and everyone knew him. Zack had bad credit from that accident that happened a while back, but he don’t like to talk about it, and had a tough time paying off the bank so the only place he could go to borrow money was Zach Robinson who everyone knew to be soon incarcerated for being a creep. Zack got in deep with the sharks but he didn’t just survive, he thrived. And now Zack is in the 6th and final playoff spot despite only having the 3rd highest odds to make the playoffs amongst the basement dwellers.
Paulie moved slow, only because Paulie didn’t have to move for anybody. Nobody wanted to give the kid credit. No splashy trades, no big moves, no roster upheavals, he just stayed his course and people got out of the way or he ran them over. I told one person that I’d never give this person credit in public, but it’s time the kid got his button. It’s time to make the kid a made man. Winners of 3 straight and as of this moment, the 2nd best team in the league, Boss is on an absolute heater and it cannot go ignored. The kid is a survivor and most importantly, he remembered the 2 rules: 1. Keep your mouth shut 2. Never rat on your friends. I’m not mad at ya, kid. I’m proud of you. Now let me carry those groceries for your mother.
No more shines, Billy. I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. They didn’t go up there and tell you. I don’t shine shoes anymore. Caden kept yapping away. Just never knew when to shut up. Then all of the sudden Bryon snapped and beat the hell out of him. Cadens lifeless corpse is getting rolled up into a rug as we speak, but little do we know, he’s still alive. He’s still in the playoffs despite losing 4 straight and 5 of 6. But don’t worry, Caden, because when we pull the car over, I’m going to light you up like a Christmas tree in week 12 that’ll surely put you down for good.
What do you do? Oh, you’re in construction? Your hands don’t feel like you’re in construction. Oh, you’re a union delegate. You pulled up to the bar, parked the car on the curb, tossed some schmuck your keys and told him not to scratch it. You took us all through the back door, through the kitchen, and the maitre’D got a table prepped for you in the front of the stage to watch Henny Youngman, King of the One Liners. Luke’s got the best team in the league as of this exact moment. He always wanted to be a gangster. Despite dawning a record of 4-6, he still has a better chance at making the playoffs (46%) than the 2 teams ahead of him. Winners of 2 straight, the 2 wins have been extremely impressive and his roster has no signs of slowing down. These next 4 weeks are make or break for Luke. Will he be a made man or will they soon discover that he’s got Irish blood?
You ordered spaghetti and marinara sauce but all you got was egg noodles and ketchup. After a desperately needed win, Dave finds himself in witpro. Survives another day and has a chance to cement himself into the playoffs, but he’s flown pretty close to the sun, and just may find himself in the actual cement. I know a guy. Dave’s schedule is no walk in the park either. He faces off against a desperately wounded animal who has nothing to lose in Caden, then the good fella himself, Zack, followed by the 2 hottest teams in the league to close out his season in Boss and Luke. Like I said, witpro gets you another day, but it doesn’t mean you’re safe.
I know you all were waiting for this one… What am I a fucking clown? Do I amuse you? Yeah, Tommy you’re a real funny guy. You thought you were gonna get made and then POP!!! Once deemed the prince of the basement dwellers, he was favored to make the playoffs, but the wheels fell off the wagon. This is revenge for Billy Batts, and a lot of other things. Gault, loser of 2 straight, is dead. A 10% chance of making the playoffs, 1 game ahead of Legacy, and forced to start Sterling Shepperd. This league takes care of its problems on its own accord. This league serves as the judge, jury, and executioner. We don’t abide by the rules that civilians do. We do the wet work ourselves. Gault is dead and is being taken to the meadowlands for a proper burial in the swamp.
I’m gonna tell everybody who walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you are nothing but a whore! Is this the superintendent? Yes, I want you to know, sir, that you have a whore living in 2R! Janice Rossi, do you hear me? He’s MY husband! Get your own goddamn man! You’re a fighter. A damn fighter. You’ve survived an insane abusive relationship and have proven to be as tough as nails. But you made 2 critical errors: You married a jew and you flushed all the drugs we had down the toilet. 2 critical errors made by 2 people. Now Moxie and Taran are as good as gone. They’re on the run and have been shunned by Paulie and Jimmy. They’re cancerous. No where to go for help. Nobody will give them money. Is it too late for these 2 teams or can they cut a deal with the feds before they listen to Jimmy and go into that store for a dress….
Kev, Legacy, You’re dead.
