- Adam’s Rent-A-Player (6-2) 💲 💲
Last week: 4
Playoff Chance: 94%
Week 8: Defeated Kittle School Shooters
Something Scary: Trade deadline is still less than two weeks away.
Hang the banner. Rent-A-Player seized the opportunity and took off the King. This was the Super Bowl. Nothing else matters now. Kirko Chainz came in the trap and took over the trap. Gibbs did exactly what this club traded for. CeeDee Lamb came as promised. Scoring 50 points above the projection is no easy task. Onto USA Eagle Slayers who is trying to snap a two-game losing streak.
Up next: USA Eagle Slayers
- Kittle School Shooters (6-2) 💲
Last week: 1
Playoff Chance: 91%
Week 8: Lost to Adam’s Rent-A-Player
Something Scary: It’s still the running backs
This was a tough pill to swallow. The trades, bench sharing, and lifelines to other clubs were okay because it wasn’t happening to the Shooters. Now, it’s all come back to bite this club is the ass. Scoring what could have been a top high score in majority of other weeks was still not enough against the powerhouse. Take this one on the chin and keep it moving because 6-2 is still an impressive record. Next up is Amon-Ra’Merica who will be short-handed going into Week 9.
Up next: Amon-Ra’Merica
- GOONERS (5-3) 💲
Last Week: 2
Playoff Chance: 76%
Week 8: Lost to It was Cowher’s Team
Something Scary: Pacheco is set to return soon
Nick Chubb with 52 yards is not going to win games. Jordan Love in crunch time is not going to win games. Cowher’s Team took the Gooners out back and ended their misery. An absolute ass whooping. There was never a chance. And now Gooners is on a two game losing streak and has dropped to a 74% chance of making the playoffs. Next up is the last one win team in the league, so what better time to get back in the win column and continued what has been a solid fantasy season?
Up next: ERROR 404
- USA Eagle Slayers (5-3) 🍺
Last week: 3
Playoff Chance: 72%
Week 8: Lost to Gordon’s Last Joint
Something Scary: Ebony Slayer has peaked too early?
This one hurts. There were multiple opportunities for Slayer to win Week 8, with McConkey going yard. However, Swift put that push to rest. Week 9 will not be any easier with Adam’s Rent-A-Player wreaking havoc on the league.
Up next: Adam’s Rent-A-Player
- It Was Cowher’s Team (5-3)
Last week: 5
Playoff Chance: 70%
Week 8: Defeated GOONERS
Something Scary: The points for – points against margin
What an absolute ass kicking in Week 8 against the GOONERS. The GOONERS were gooned again. The entire roster came to play. This club has put together a nice resume of wins against caliber teams. Perhaps I spoke too soon on writing this club off two weeks ago? Perhaps this is a contending playoff club! Week 9 will be very telling if Cowher’s team can replicate what it did in Week 8 against the reeling Misfit Toys.
Up next: Land of Misfit Toys - Hurts Donut (4-4) 🍺
Last week: 8
Playoff Chance: 57%
Week 8: Defeated Makin’ Moore Mooney
Something Scary: Hurts Donuts has just begun hitting its stride
It might be clicking. It took nearly half the season, but this Club has begun to find its footing. Better roster management might have won the Weekly High Score, but unfortunately Tracy was sitting on the bench. Christian Kirk will be missed. Week 9 against the 4-4 Trapa-Hall-ics will be the most important match of the season so far for these two clubs.
Up next: Trapa-Hall-ics Mixtapes - Amon-Ra’merica (4-4) 💲
Last week: 7
Playoff Chance: 46%
Week 8: Defeated ERROR 404
Something Scary: Brian Thomas Jr. and Week 9 byes
Week 8 was simply a lay-up for Amon-Ra’Merica as he faced off against the one-win Error 404. It appears Geno’s magic has all but disappeared. Brian Thomas Jr. going down with an injury makes Week 9 much more difficult as Amon-Ra is set to face off against Kittle School Shooters. Can Montgomery continue carrying this middle of the road club on his back?
Up next: - Trapa-Hall-ics Mixtapes (4-4) 🍺
Last week: 9
Playoff Chance: 41%
Week 8: Defeated Land of Misfit Toys
Something Scary: Upcoming weakness of schedule
Trapa-Hall-ics continues making savvy moves on the Waiver Wire. Cedric Tillman was acquired and sent this club soaring past Misfit Toys in Week 8. With Flacco being named starter, there’s a chance Pittman becomes fantasy relevant again, as well as this club’s playoff chances. It’s a tough matchup in Week 9 with Hurts Donuts. Perhaps there is a trade along the way given there’s two Top 10 QBs on this roster?
Up next: Hurts Donuts - Gordon’s Last Joint (3-5) 💲
Last week: 11
Playoff Chance: 28%
Week 8: Defeated USA Eagle Slayers
Something Scary: He’s not done yet.
There’s something to be said about the Manager who takes daily verbal abuse from the league on the chin and remains unflappable. The Club that continues to put the work in when no one is watching, nor paying attention to anymore. The Club that everybody said is cooked. Gordon’s Last Joint took it to the Eagle Slayers in Week 8 and prevailed. Now sitting at 3-5, playoffs are not out of the realm of possibility. With a big Week 9 and a little bit of luck, Gordon can continue moving up the rankings, and put itself in position to make a push for the playoffs.
Up next: Makin’ Moore Mooney
- Land of Misfit Toys (3-5) 🍺
Last week: 6
Playoff Chance: 15%
Week 8: Lost to Trapa-Hall-ics Mixtapes
Something Scary: The barren Waiver Wire
What could have likely been made into a Disney movie has the Land of Misfit Toys pulled it off, all came crashing down when the report of the Diggs injury was released. Misfit Toys was just finding its groove. All but eliminated at this point, it’s a sad state of affairs for the Misfit Toys. Next up is Cowher’s Team who is continuing to make a push for the playoffs. Better luck next year Commish.
Up next: It was Cowher’s Team
- Makin’ Moore Mooney (2-6) 💲🍺 🍺
Last week: 10
Playoff Chance: 8%
Week 8: Lost to Hurts Donuts
Something Scary: What might have been?
Another tough outing for Makin’ Moore Mooney. There’s not much to say other than tough luck. Once again, another club showed up and showed out. Makin’ Moore Mooney’s only option moving forward is convincing the league to implement the weekly game against the median. After crunching the numbers, Makin’ Moore Mooney would be in sixth place in the league after Week 8, which is much better than the current place this club finds itself in.
Up next:
- ERROR 404 (1-7) 🍺 🍺 💲
Last week: 12
Playoff Chance: 1%
Week 8: Lost to Amon-Ra’merica
Something Scary: The lack of options
Four game losing streak. The lowest points for in the league by a large margin. The weekly goose eggs from players. Who is Andrei Iosivas? Currently rostered in a staggering 4.1% of leagues. Where do I even begin? This is a new Squid Squad Fantasy League low. Another 24 oz. tall boy on top of the other 24 oz. tall boy that has yet to be drank is in this club’s future. It’s not getting any easier in Week 9 with the 5-3 GOONERS trying to right the ship.
Up next: Amon-Ra’merica

Posted inDrunk Words