You have my attention. I will listen now. After the murder of CMC, Dave was orphaned. Seeking solace in Nico Collins, but he’s a on a bye week. And one morning, he made a run at Isaac Guerendo to lay to rest Luke and allow Gault entry into the playoffs. Gault can be found running into the morning dawn. What set you off, Gault? Something woke you, didn’t it? Was it a dream? What was it? Gault heard a strange noise. It was…screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child’s voice. He goes downstairs, outside. He crept up into the Spielvogel family barn. He was scared to look inside, but he had to. What Gault found shocked him to his core. Lambs. The lambs were screaming. Gault thought to himself, if he could rescue just one. What became of your lamb, Gault?
Step 1: Defeat Moxie.
Gault is riding a 3 game win streak and right now is starting to smell like the ’07 Giants. There’s a few paths to making the playoffs, PF being one of them, but Luke losing to Dave and Gault beating Caden guarantees a ticket to the big dance. Well, Gault, 1 week left and 1 win away from nirvana. Tell me, Austin, Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center sounds charming, doesn’t it? I bet it does. You have a week full of sweating out games, watching the PF race when you know that there’s no chance you outscore Boss by 85 this week, refreshing the screen constantly looking at Dave vs Luke, making sure that Caden doesn’t goon all over you. You invested so much into this league, this season. You put it all on the line. Will your lamb make it into the playoffs? You’ll tell me when the lambs stop screaming, won’t you?
Step 2: Luke/Boss lose
Bryon vs Luke was a tantalizing matchup. This years mainstay in the power rankings vs the hottest team in the league vying for the 3 seed. Over the last couple of weeks we’ve seen Lukes team come down to earth but he’s still winning. Luke got out to an early lead in this one and controlled the game until Bryon closed the gap and put the game away for good going into Monday night. Bryon winning keeps Gault’s season alive and gives all of us the drama we’ve been clamoring for. This is starting to seem familiar. The high and mighty trying to save someone without saving them. I think I know who Bryon is… You see a lot, Doctor. Now riddle me this. Who are you trying to help? Clarice or Catherine? Luke was merely a census taker. Then Bryon ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Boss vs Dave
This could be a preview of a round 1 matchup and it didn’t disappoint. CMC was surely going to deliver Dave from losing, but things happen how they do, and Njoku went off giving Boss the win and a 93% chance of making the playoffs. He Boss can still miss the playoffs but it’ll take his team scoring <80 points which hasn't happened all year. Boss won the battle but not the war. No. First principles, Austin. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What is it that you seek? You covet. That is your nature. And how do we begin to covet, Austin? Do we seek out things to covet? We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Austin? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want? I know you're looking for me. And I am here. Why don't you come inside to use my telephone. Oh, and don't forget to put this on for me *hands over bottle of lotion*.
Tell us, Caden. What did you do with Tarans skin? Why do you remove it? Enthrall us with your acumen. Does it excite you? No. You ate it. And now you're over you skis. A book we've all read. You're flying high, but you weren't born a winner. You've got some sever childhood disturbances associated with violence. You were made a loser through years of systematic abuse. You hate your own identity, and you think that makes you a transsexual. But as a warning shot to us all as we head into the post season with you: Your pathology is a thousand times more savage and more terrifying.
As for me? Little old me with my good bag and cheap shoes? I'm a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good free agency management given me a good roster, but I'm not more than one generation from poor white trash. And my accent I've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. My father was a coal miner and he stunk of lamp. I know how quickly the boys grew fond of my 10 game win streak.. all those tedious sticky trades in the back seats of cars… But in the end? Would I fuck me? Yeah I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.
Goodbye horses, I'm flying over you
Goodbye horses, I'm flying over you
Goodbye horses, I'm flying over you
Goodbye horses, I'm flying, flying, flying over you
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh